I felt like doing 3 reviews in 10 minutes for 3 movies I watched recently…

No One Killed Jessica

+ points

° It had an amazing premise to begin with.

° The police dude was friggin amazing!

° The movie had a pretty decent score.

° Everything was awesome…right up till the court room scene.

– points

° The horrifyingly BAD courtroom scene. I was gagging at the awful dialogues and the terrible acting! Was the director high or something to let drivel like that pass off as believable courtroom drama?!!! Weren’t the courtroom scenes and the failure of India’s judicial system meant to be a crucial element in this film??! I think my brain refused to take the film seriously from that point on.

° The subtle art of making people look cool while they swear was completely lost on Rani Mukherjee. It was as if the director was pointing a gun to her head and forcing her to awkwardly swear at every moment’s notice. The plane scene was enough to convince us that her character was that of a hard ass reporter. You didn’t need to try and force it down our Goddamn throats at every possible opportunity. We get it, ok?!

° Vidya Balan’s character was too cold and with little to no dialogues. Which worked at some times but seemed forced at others.

Bottom line: You can’t make a movie about real life events, add shitty acting and masala and expect people to take it seriously. Raj Kumar Gupta, whose previous film was the brilliant Aamir, could’ve done SO much more with the subject matter and talented cast, but instead churned out a piece of turd.

Rating: 5 out of 10

Dhobi Ghat

+ points

° Brilliant acting from Prateik Babbar. Nay…’brilliant’ does not do justice to one of the best performances I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching in cinema. It was sublime,subtle,real, innocent,down to earth and larger than life, all at the same time.

° A good performace from Monica Dogra.

°  The beautiful cinematography.

° The amazing photographs that truly capture what this movie is about : Mumbai…”my muse, my whore, my beloved”.

° The music was really beautiful and suited the theme of the movie quite well.

– points

° Aamir Khan’s role seemed more of an afterthought. I wonder how Kiran Rao directed him for this movie. Ok…Aamir…now stare. Haan, good. Now, sad stare. Now, fascinated stare! Now…watery eyed stare. Awkward English dialogue. Ok, no more talking….stare at painting!

° The ending didn’t ‘tie things up’ as well as you would expect from a movie with parallel storylines. It wasn’t bad, but you’re left expecting for more.

Bottom line: Every once in a while (read blue moon), Bollywood produces art instead of a commercial popcorn movie. Movies that are larger than the characters or stories within them. Dhobi Ghat is exactly that. It is a slice of real life, a slice of the ruthless,beautiful and phantasmagoric city of Mumbai. The pace of the movie is deliberately slow, so that you can absorb as much of Mumbai as you can. And seeing that India is not a big fan of slow paced films, Dhobi Ghat is bound to be a box office disaster. Such a shame.


Rating: 8 out of 10


+ points

° Very interesting “reading” scenes.

° Fantastic tsunami scene that sets very high expectations for the movie.

– points

° Fantastic tsunami scene that fasely sets very high expectations for the movie.

° Horrifyingly slow pace that serves absolutely no purpose.

° Horrible acting from the twin kids.

° The music in the movie was so terrible and falsely pretentious that I felt like stabbing my ears to make it stop!

° Stone cold boring acting from all the actors!

° Whenever you make a movie with parallel storylines, they must converge at some point. For directors like Guy Ritchie, this convergence is a crucial element of the film. In Hereafter, it’s more of an afterthought, thanks to the weak script.

Bottom line: Clint Eastwood has finally gone senile.

Rating: 5 out of 10